In fact, seeing as how it's about New Year's resolutions, I'd say it's about 5 weeks overdue. I thought about just skipping it or possibly even saving it for next year, but for some reason it just keeps nagging at the back of my mind, waiting to come out.
I love New Year's resolutions. Which is kind of ironic, seeing as how I'm not the biggest fan of New Year's Eve celebrations. I have nothing against them, per se, just prefer to be at home in my pajamas at midnight rather than out all dressed up somewhere. Now, if my friends wanted to come to my house and have a low key "Ring in the New Year in our Pajamas while Eating Cookie Dough and Popcorn and Watching Cheesy Movies Party"....that's the kind of celebration I could get on board with.
Anyway, back to the resolutions. I LOVE them. In my head, I know that a change can be made in a person's life at anytime. It doesn't have to be at the beginning of the year, but I love the whole symbolism of leaving behind the past year, of having a fresh start. I love the feeling of hope and of newness. (I also have these feelings to a lesser degree at the beginning of each month and surprisingly, Mondays.) So as January 1st gets closer each year, I start to take inventory of the past year. I look at what worked and what didn't. I look at who I am and who I'd like to be. I look at the things I've accomplished and the things I haven't. Then, I look forward to the coming year. Which parts of me do I want following me into the new year? Which parts definitely need to go? Which parts of me are mostly good, but need some tweaking?
As I was pondering all these things and trying to come up with some good resolutions, I was having some luck, but overall, I had so many areas I wanted to work on that all my resolutions felt cumbersome. (I want to start eating better, I want to be a better housewife, I want to lose weight etc.) I knew that if I tried to focus on all these things, especially at once, I would get discouraged and, most likely, give up.
I had put my resolutions on the back burner for awhile when I got an email from a radio station about resolutions. It suggested that rather than go through the process of making all these resolutions that you might not be able to keep, why not consider a one word resolution that can then more or less become your mantra for the coming year, and you can use it to measure all the aspects of your life against. (Here is a link to the article: http://www.klove.com/news/2014/12/30/for-the-new-year-consider-just-one-word.aspx) The more I thought about that, the more I loved that idea, but had trouble coming up with one word that encompassed all the things I wanted to accomplish this year. I mean, what do going to church more often, eating better and being a better housewife all have to do with each other?
New Year's Eve rolled around and Hubby & I spent a quiet evening at home after Gooby was asleep. We had done some grocery shopping that day, so we spent some time putting away groceries, reorganizing the pantry and the freezer, and other grocery day activities. When we were done with that, Hubby sat at the table working on some things and I cleaned more in the kitchen. The time ticked away and I realized that that's what i was going to be doing at midnight- cleaning. That's when it hit me. My resolution. My one word. Clean. Everything I want to do this year, it all comes back to clean. I wanted to be better about eating healthier and being more aware of where my food was coming from and what was in it. Clean eating. I wanted to be a better housewife, better at keeping up with laundry and dishes, with vacuuming and dusting. I wanted less clutter in our house. I wanted our home to be clean. I wanted to be better about going to church, I wanted my relationship with my Savior to improve, I wanted to rid my life of things I knew that were keeping from where I should be. I wanted a clean heart.
I will admit, that it's not always easy keeping up with that. I'm in the middle of a class and sometimes it's hard to want to put forth the extra effort to put a wholesome dinner on the table or to make it to church when we didn't sleep well the night before. And I'm not gonna lie, that nasty cold that seems to be going around hit our house hard the past two weeks and my house is in complete disarray. Yet, I look around me and while it would be easy to be discouraged, I can't help but see hope. So many times my life is like my front living room. I am SO good about keeping it picked up. Then something happens and it's a mess. The mess can be embarrassing and discouraging, but in the end, all that I have to do is throw away the trash, put the toys back where they belong and vacuum and it's good as new again. It's clean.
And that's the great thing, about our lives. We don't have to stay entrenched in our filth forever. We can get rid of those things in our lives that are keeping us from being clean, that are holding us back. And, as my mom would say, it's a whole lot easier keeping something clean than it is trying to start from scratch every time.
I'm looking forward to being completely over this cold so I can re-embrace my New Year's resolution with abandon. I'm ready to be clean.
Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in His holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart. -Pslam 24:3-4 (Inspired Version)